Well douche your snatch and let's go!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
