I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
