its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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