Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
