How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
