He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How does it feel to date your dad?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
