whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
