I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
