i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
