Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She announced her abortion via fbk
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
