Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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