If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
