Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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