is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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