last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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