Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
