just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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