It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
