I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
