Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
