when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
