I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
