Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize