Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Someone came in the potted fern
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
