We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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