matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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