Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
