my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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