I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
