In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
