White coat. Heels.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
