He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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