And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
