there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
