oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
