Where did you get a picture of my penis
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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