you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have post one night stand depression
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