I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
