is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
