Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
