Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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