I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
