if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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