I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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