he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
