i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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