Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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