The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
