Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
