I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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