I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have demons in me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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