Where is the hickey?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
