It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
