U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
