Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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