After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
