yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can I color on your dick again?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
